Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
There's always time for handjobs
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
