During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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