I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
