Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
