My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
