first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
