He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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