have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
so let's talk penis.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
