I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
