Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
