You surviving the open bar?
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I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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