I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
