i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
time to smoke my breakfast
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
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