So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
