So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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