Quick, to the slutcave!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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