No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
