if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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