just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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