I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm always down for nudity.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
