In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
