Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
