I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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