Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
