So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
