yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
