sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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