so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
