She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
