it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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