So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
