Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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