am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
