You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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