how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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