its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize