Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
