im holly from the hills drunk
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I deserve this hangover.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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