i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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