Do you still have your period?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
