Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
