Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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