Sry I called you an 8
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
wow bdsm is so cute
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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