He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
