he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
