Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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