i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
