Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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