I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
