PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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