JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
