just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
