i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
