Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
