So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
