I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
