a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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