I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
