Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
