His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
