yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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