I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize