I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
