Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
