your thong is hanging out like whoa
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
