he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
