I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
