There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
