ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
