I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
