then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
two words...techno handjob
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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