Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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