What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
