sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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