He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
