Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
