It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
