I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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