At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I think im going to throw up on grandma
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Watching her eat just hurts me
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
