You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
